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Monday, December 14, 2009

mati


I do live in the future. On the day I die.

I often ask myself, on the very last day of my life, would I have any regrets?

Well. Maybe.

Using that perspective, seeing myself from that vantage point, how relevant are things to me?

I mean, if I were to die, 20-30 years from now, if I live that long, what would matter today?

My blog? My career? My title? How much I make? What people think of me? What people thought of me, two seconds a year, five years ago?


How many girls I fucked?

I mean, what would matter, to ME? On my death bed.

Honestly, and I am not gloating, I have lived a charmed life. If I were to die tomorrow, I'd die happy. And I am ever thankful for that.

I have done what most people usually just complain about wanting to do.

But.

"I can't find the time."

"I don't have the money"

"I'm not good looking enough"

"They won't let me do that. Or SHE won't let me do that."


Well, just do it, bitch. The only reason you are stopping yourself is because somehow, on some level, it works for you.

Being a victim. Justifying. Being in pain. Fear of getting what you want.

As a person who more often than not gets what he wants.

"Sometimes, the price of getting what you want, is getting what you once wanted."

And, "The destination is sometimes a surprise to the destined."

When you don't really know what you want and simply grab as much as you can. I've met grabbers before.

Sons and daughters of millionaires who fight for a free plastic toy camera. Wives of multi-million dollar companies' board members bringing fucking tupperware to an AGM meeting, so they can doggy-bag the caviar - used as garnishing.

And some, less obvious examples.

I can see it in their eyes. This greed for space. For attention. For recognition. For worship.

The fear that if you give some ground, or give some pussy, that you will have less pussy. Actually, the more you give your pussy, the bigger it gets. haha!

So you want a million US dollars. Why? Nothing wrong with that. I want USD400 million. But always know - for what? Always know what you're asking for.

Do you even know the headache it takes to manage a million bucks? The worry, and the responsibility that comes with it?

Greedy people, they are creatures of desire. They are never thin enough. They are never pretty enough. They are never rich enough. They are like walking black holes.

Persetankan politik dan ahli politik. Pergi mampus sama mereka. Peduli taik aku?


Kalau aku gagal pun, sekurang-kurangnya aku dah buat apa yang boleh, dan tidak hanya duduk dan maki orang tak tentu pasal, perasan diri sendiri betul.



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