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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Advantages of Making Me a Millionaire


Look, as long as I'm not rich, I'm going to annoy you with miscellaneous crap and shit.

I will be a mirror to you and your darkest bullshit. I will show you your hypocrisies, flaunt them, and make caricatures of them. I will be the physical embodiment of your being.

I will do and say things that you do not like.

Why?

Because without lots and lots of money, I have nothing to amuse myself with, other than showing you how stupid you are.

For some, you will have this irrepressible urge to put me down. To hate me. Because you do not have a life, and deep down inside, you WANT to be me. You want to be SEEN or regarded as better than me.

With millions at my disposal, I will shift my attention away from what makes me laugh - you - and focus entirely on myself.

Just remember: as long as I am insignificant, I am invincible. With nothing to lose. Make me a millionaire, and I would have something to lose - my millions.

In other words, for a person without weaknesses - ME - you create one.

Money

As a millionaire, I would have to play by the rules. The same stupid rules you claim to follow. Because those rules would be advantageous to a millionaire, who don't have to follow them anyway. Right now, with no millions, fuck the rules.

And don't worry. Even if I am a millionaire, I have set safeguards to ensure that I would never be a politician. I would never make it in a field where I would need to appease most people, if not everybody, with my charming personality. I would never rise in power and take over the country, or even portions of it.

I have no such aspirations.

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